Happy 4 months anniversary~

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Today is our 4 months anniversary. Time goes really fast, since we have already been together for four months. During these four months time we both had the good and bad times. I am not sure what will happen, I am not sure how long can this relationship still last, I am not sure how much love can we still hold in our heart, I am not sure whether we can still understand each other, I am not sure whether we are still meant for each other. Since I can't really understand the meaning of love anymore.

We have been knowing each other for more than 3 year. During these years, I had seen you being with a few girls. As you told me that you had been waiting for me over those years time. In fact, I was the one who had been single and always by your side over those years. I was single not because no one wanted me, it was because I couldn't find myself to fell in love with anyone else but you.

As you reminded me that you was always the one who took care of me when I needed someone. In fact, I had also been there to take care of you when you needed somewhere to stay, someone to take care of you and someone to talk.

I am not saying all these to remind you or enlarge all the little things that I have done for you, because I didn't mind if you have already forgotten all those. Since I am sorry that I am not beside you now, and I can't be there for you when you need someone to help, and I can't drive you or take care of you when you are drunk, and I can't take care of you when you need someone to take care of you, and I can't stand beside you when you are upset and need someone to talk to, and I have no where to let you stay when you need somewhere to stay, and I can't understand your feelings when you need someone to understand you, and I can't let you trust when you need someone to trust, and I can't let you feel better when you are feeling awkward...etc...

I am sorry for all those, therefore I thought it would be better if I could let you go and find the way which you could feel better. I don't care how bad would you think I was, I don't mind how bad you would be complaining to the other about me. As I will not mind whatever you
do that can make you feel better. I wouldn't mind if you think you would want to delete me from your memories, because of how I hurt you when I wanted to leave you.

I didn't wish to pull you back when you have already decided to let go, however, I was disappointed by how you would want to throw our friendship away when we couldn't have our relationship succeed . It was because I was just confused about how much could our friendship worth in the past when you could just throw it away when we couldn't have succeed in our relationship. I could understand how bad you could feel by the way how I tried to break our relationship. However, I could never understand how you could blame me for how I let you down
by not doing the things that you expected me to do. Since I could always try to understand you when you didn't really understand me. In fact, I just want to let you know that no matter what can happen, I will not give up the friendship that we used to have before, and I will never expect anything from our relationship if we were not meant for each other.

Anyway, I have to say to you and myself that " Happy 4 months anniversary", even I know we are not happy. However, this is all what I can say to make us feel better.