Sigh..... Mum and my aunties have decided to go to Macau after work for the Easter holiday.... So I have to go home by myself since I have chosen to stay home, to read my books and start my studies for the exams.... For me I would rather prefer to stay in hong kong for the holiday lol..... That's because I have no interest in gambling and all those slot machines.....
However, I have just realized somethings when I was on my way back home... Now I can understand how my mum could feel in the past when my brother and I were still in Australia..... "The feelings of being alone"..... I can imagine how hard would it be when she was by herself and with all the struggling problems and stressful feelings about the court case's stuffs in her mind..... Since she was the only one who needed to work hard in order to support the whole family......though she still needed to face on all the problems that my father had caused for her in the same time.....
By that time, my mum had no friends and her relationship wasn't really good with my grandparents due to the reason of my dad.... so she could talk to no one but called me sometimes and chatted with me and my brother.....
I could understand how hard could it be when she needed to live by herself at that time...... As I know people usually spend their time on thinking all those negative things while they are by themselves..... Especially for my mum..... Since she wouldn't just have so much problems to think of, but she would have so much time that she was by herself.......probably that's why she had chosen to spend as much as her effort on her work.....
Few years ago, everyday she could only pay all her attentions on her work in the day time.... After work she would choose to take the ferry back to central and took the escalator back home, in order to save up some transport fees, sometimes she might get a chance to buy some of her favorite food or snacks to reward herself....Maybe that's why I could realize she had been getting fatter and fatter every time when I returned from Australia during the holiday....... This might be because she tried to relax herself through the way of eating all her favorite food..... Since she might find this was the only way for her to express her stress and pressure......
Tonight I just suddenly realized the lonely feelings of going home by oneself..... And I tried think as in my mum's perspective in few years ago..... What would be in my mum's mind at that time.... How could she walk by herself on this way back home everyday in few years ago....
Would she realize all the nice view when she was on the ferry? Would she think about my dad and his girlfriend? Would she want to cry? Would she want to listen to some music while she was thinking all the stuffs??
Whatever the answers are.... The only thing that I am sure is.... How strong, positive and powerful has my mum being over these years of time..... I am so proud of her.... I love my mum.... She is always the best of my life.... Even though sometimes I might find myself share the different opinion with the way of her actions....... Still I will always respect her decision.....
Mum I love you.... I hope I can help you as much as I can to due with all your pressure.... I hope you can a better life in the very soon future....
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