The future....

Everything is getting on track. As I have to start to decide the way of my future, and I will have to let my lawyer know about it soon. What a hard decision!! Be honest, I really wish to complete my degree in the University of Queensland. Time goes really fast. I have returned to Hong Kong for more than a year. Over this year, I have learned a lot and get to understand more about life. Things have been changed as well. Should I go on and continue on my original plan, which is going back to Australia and finish my degree in Australia?! Or should I choose my alternative choice, which is continued my study in Hong Kong of the degree in Bradford?! Or should I choose to go on my dream, which is study in England?! Either one of my plan is mostly depends on how my family situation. Sometimes, I really want to ask my father about his opinion and decision. This is not because I can't have a clue with my future,or I am not sure which is the best way for myself. I want to ask for his opinion is just because I want to know that has him ever consider about his daughter and his son. He seems to just concern about himself. He seems has never consider about me and my brother. Is that because he has never consider about us as his son and daughter?! Is that because no matter what our future will be that doesn't really matter him?!

I have learned to be independent and strong since I was 5. Started from the day of my mum had left me and my brother for 20 months, I have realized that I am the only one who can help myself for my own future. Also I have to consider to help my brother to do his best. I have being grown in a family with a lot of problems, which is so different to the other ordinary families. I have learned to be independent and know how to take care of my own study and future. Since I know that no one in this family can help me when I need help. Since I was young I really I wish I could have my parents who can help me and give me for some useful opinion when I need some advice.

Since I was young, I have been helping myself on everything about my study and future. Since I know my parents would never have time to care about it. In fact, I would be really happy with deciding my own future if I didn't have to care about my parents problems. As many people have asked me about why should I have to care about my parents' problems, since they are adult and they should be able to help themselves. However, the fact is that the others could never understand the real situation about my family.

Sometimes, I really hope my father can help me for some decisions or some problems. As the time past, I have realized this was really a ridiculous dream. Since he is so .....in which situation, I should be happy if he could be able to help himself. Sometimes, I would be really upset about his failure and his weakness of this personalities. I really hope to remind him and help him to get to understand his weakness over these years, However, I have found myself so helpless on that. On the other hand, maybe my brother and I could be happy to have such kind of father, so we could take him as our bad model. So then we can learn to be more successful in our lives

This may be the reason why I have learned to think about somethings and evaluate of the real situation. And learn to listen to everyone's words and evaluate the real situation, without just listen and believe on somethings that the others have told. I wish my father can learn to think and grow his logic in a better way. Since his logic has been causing his own failure over these years.

I wish I don't have to help my parents for anything, so that can prove me I have a really successful father and I really want to be proud of him. However, he is really disappointing me for almost all the time. Be honest, I have to say that he is really a smart and successful businessman. Since I was young, I have seen my parents been working and deal with many problems. Maybe that's why I have learned a lot from them on how to deal with problems, and I have also learned to know how to be better on dealing with the problems. Sometimes, I would be happy with learning all those, however, I would more be happy if I have never learned those from them. So my life would be a lot easier and simpler.

As I know how much my father has hated me over these days, since I have helped my mum. I didn't really want or mean to do anything bad to him. However, his actions really have made me to react in such way. And he has to know how to be responsible to his inappropriate actions, from taking his own consequences. As I know my mum is not a selfish or mean person, all her actions really have some reason behind. Perhaps she is not really good at presenting herself to the others, since she is really a straight forward person and sometimes she is being too honest to the others, and I know she is not a greedy person. She is really generous to everyone around her, however, she could be acting really strong to the others if she found the bad intention of the others. I have to say that she is really a smart person sometimes in dealing with the others. She can really see the others. I know she is really a careful person, so she just want to protect us and the family from the others' bad intention. However, she just acts too aggressive sometimes when she gets to know a person's intention is being not nice in some way. However, I have to admit that her actions could be inappropriate sometimes.

No matter how my parents and families have done anything in anyway, all I want to do is just help them to understand themselves better and get to learn more about how to do better. Since I believe that is what family should do. It is because family should always be understanding, and be able forgive and accept the others, and be able to help the others. We should always help each others out when they need some help. No matter how bad could I feel about their actions, still I really want to help them to understand their mistakes and help them to be better. That is just like how my mum has scold me for every little things that I have done inappropriately through the years. I may get upset sometimes, still I would be able to understand her later when I get to know her own intention is just being good for me. Also I will be appreciated for her effort, even her actions may not be the best for the situations sometimes. Still when I think back on her own intention, I can always forgive her and be able to understand her. I really happy and I think I am really lucky to have such kind of mother. So I can really learn the real problems and weakness of myself. Then I can keep continue to improve myself better and be more successful in my future.

As I know my mum has been really harsh for me and my bother since we were young, still I really have to say thanks for her. Since I have got to know that her actions have been helping us to grow in a better way and be more successful. I am happy for her way in teaching us, as I have been told from the others about how they proud of me and my bother for our way in doing things. Since I know that all our success is just because of my mum's effort over these years. Over these days on working at my mum's office, I have seen her acting in front of many different people and customers, I really have learned a lot from her. I really have to say that she is really a successful business woman in her business area. Since she is the only one who can handle all the things and support the whole families. I really proud of her. Also I really want to learn more from her and want to be successful like her, and learn how to be more successful from seeing my mum's mistakes on some areas.

Mother's day is coming soon, I really want to say thanks to her and do somethings for her to show my respect to her. Mummy I really love you. Indeed I really do love my mum and my family. As I know my brother is also paying his effort and working hard on his own future, I am really proud of him as well. At last, I want to cheer up for everyone who is working hard for their own future. As I know in the short while, everyone can see our result on our effort and hard working.

Cheer up.....nothing can be hard, except if we give up on ourselves.No matter how hard can the current situation can be, still the best is just yet to go. Lets work hard together and take our every minute count. As I always believe, the only happiness is that we can cherish whatever we can have on hand, and appreciate with everything and think in a positive way. No one can really judge anything....since the fact will prove us everything. We are working and acting for our own selves, we don't have to care about what the others have said and what the others think. Since we are the only one who can judge ourselves. Its so true that, no one can ever upset us but ourselves. So what my dad has been upsetting and angry for, its just because of his own self and how his way of thinking has trouble himself.....I really hope he can understand this fact. Hope he can be doing better in his life as well.....no matter what can the result be at the end of the court's judgment..... hope he can deeply understand what he has been doing over these years.....and hope he can learn his lesson.....Still he is always my father.....I will always try to forgive him and try my best to help him in a good way......good luck....